Pain, Addiction and figuring out where’s the Illusion.

I smoked weed for the first time in a LONG WHILE.

My MS situation has been a situation and I don’t know what else to do to help with this pain. I keep training myself to “adjust” to the new normal, but it hurts so much.

I can see why I got addicted to this feeling in the first place. The temporary relief, I don't want to get addicted again. I dont relate to being a “stoner’ anymore.

.....:Why can't I get here just with my mind? Why do I need "the substance"? The pain isn't gone but its diferent. It’s easier to move. Easier to focus on a task and not the pain.

I want to get here with my mind no substance. I know I’m that powerful, and i can do it.