JustData
Vanier Rouge…
Bags packed…I’m officially in digital nomad territory. I’ve already stepped into the next chapter, but today I’m nostalgic.
They say you become the five people you spend the most time with. For the last five years, I spent most of that time alone. My circle became curated, smaller, sacred, and mostly internal. Observation became my teacher. Quiet became my practice. Coffee and minding my business were my daily rituals. I wandered the streets of Vanier daily with headphones in, somewhere between survival and surrender. The sidewalks, the Rideau River, and the cemetery became my confessionals and local coffee shops my office.
When I first moved, I was coming out of something personal that left me questioning myself. I felt so played and used, and instead of being angry, I sank immediately into guilt and shame. I actually hated myself for a while. At that point in my evolution, I was deep in the practice of believing that you are what you judge, and that there’s no separation.
For real, the moment I started wondering about my worth, the universe wasted no time showing me the mirror. Every time I stepped outside, a man asked if I was “workin.” Gotta love Vanier for that. Even right before I left a few weeks back, I walked from the house to the metro and back, and seven men slowed down, stared, and asked the same thing. Seven in one day, my record. It felt like a lot. If life is patterns, then what do the patterns mean? I’m always trying to figure it out.
All I know is that I don’t feel like the same person who moved to Vanier, and this is my favourite version of me yet. So thank you, Vanier. You’re the realest, and if there is no separation I guess I’m the realest too.
I’ll be back for a few weeks in late November…..
To be continued….
ONE OF ONE || FAUZIYAH | Here is your Sneak Peak into the creation of “Delfiyah”
First, thank you for trusting me to design your dance dress for your wedding. What an honor to create something that will forever live in the memory of such a meaningful day.
Our First Meeting: We dreamed together. I felt your energy instantly. I knew your fit had to move with you, shine with you, and amplify your presence.
From the very beginning, I had one mission:
✨ SEXY & MAKE THEM GASP ✨
And from that spark, the journey unfolded
Her Name: “Delfine” was the alter ego Zainab once gave me for nights out dancing—a wilder, freer version of myself. And since this was a dancing dress, it only felt right to channel her energy. Merging Delfine with Fauziyah, a new name was born: Delfiyah.
My First AI Sketch:
Still a total newbie at prompting—I couldn’t get it perfect. But honestly? It blew my mind how easy it was to throw ideas out there and watch them take shape.
Travels to MTL: Because only the best would do, I scoured shops and markets in search of the perfect fabric, beads, and chains. Every detail was chosen with intention.
Sewing at the Studio: Countless hours, needle to thread, hand to fabric, pouring inspiration into reality.
Fittings:
Adjusting, refining, sculpting—making sure it didn’t just look divine, but moved like second skin. Crafted for you, and only you.
And can we talk about those fittings at the NAC? Zainab completely nailed my “Grime Couture” vibe—here we were, trying on couture-level dresses in public washrooms. But hey… if you’re going to turn a bathroom into a fitting room, the NAC is definitely a vibe.
The End Product:
Not just a garment, but a statement.
Wishing you endless love, joy, and magic on your wedding day.
Congratulations to you, beautiful. ✨
Yes, this is about you.
I wrote this months ago. I tend to create random things when I’m trying to cope. I’ve been thinking about recording it—just to have proof that it existed, that I got through it. A life receipt. But the shame still has me by the throat. The thought of people knowing, really knowing… it makes me hesitate. They already know too much.
MIRROR MIRROR TRIGGER
I was out of town for a while,
Just got back to the Six.
Find out my name is still on your lips.
I come at you direct,
And you not respond—with disrespect?
Throwin’ dirt on my name…
Gossip is your new game? Lame.
I cared for you deeply once…
So let the record show:
This is my third and last attempt—
So I’ll go verrrry slow…
I ain’t beggin’ for nothin’
But I’m prayin’ for somethin’.
Is the man I used to know in there…
Somewhere?
Can you help me find him?
I used to know a man who spoke in whispers, not lies.
A man who sat by candlelight—no mask, no disguise.
He told me once, "I like you more than you know."
Do you know that man?
Have you seen that man in the mirror?
I don’t know about this new guy.
Who is this guy?
This snake in the skin.
Distracted.
Feeding on pain.
Turning love into hate.
FUCK this new guy—
And fuck his fake love gang.
The irony of their claims
Is that it’s my name they defame.
The man I knew could look me in my eyes—directly.
He used to like to please me.
That man I let touch me.
I haven’t seen that man in a while.
Is he still in there… somewhere?
Can you tap into his frequency?
If so—look that man in the mirror
And tell that man to come find me.
I’ll be where peace and love can just breathe.
But don’t get it twisted—
Mirror, mirror…
Also tell that new guy
I’m rock steady
On the motha fuckin’ trigger.
Taking accountability for life
When you find the content that inspires the work you need to do.
Becoming a Master at Deprogramming the Mind
I often find myself here, reflecting. I’m obsessed with evolving. I’m the weirdo that goes looking for triggers because I know its an opportunity to evolve my being, and I know I’m on earth to evolve. Embracing my shadows allows me to shed old patterns and create a more authentic, empowered self.
Sometimes it's helpful to recognize who you no longer want to be before you can reprogram your subconscious behaviors with the thoughts, actions, and character traits you aspire to.
Aspects of forgiveness and finding peace with bitch ass apologies
for·give·ness
/fərˈɡivnəs/
noun
the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven.
At times, it's as if I'm attempting to harness the Force to persuade myself that I'm content with everything, all while secretly yearning to unleash my inner Darth Vader and create chaos of cosmic proportions. Yet, here I am, firmly entrenched in my era of grace, radiating Yoda-like vibes (or at least aspiring to). I’m still working out that perfect balance of knowing when to speak your truth and just letting go and giving space. I tend to lean giving space…
Recently, forgiveness has been occupying my thoughts, especially since receiving one of the most insincere apologies from someone I deeply care for. All the “right words” where said, but the shit just vibrated low. I've grown to detest phrases like "It wasn’t my intention" or "I’m sorry you feel that way." I understand I’m responsible for my feelings, but it feels like accountability for poor behaviour is becoming increasingly rare, overshadowed by “proper” yet impersonal language. Frankly, I've reached my limit with it. Its bullshit. I know everything is perception and there is so much unknow data in every situation, but this recent experience has me rethinking the approach and language of forgiveness. Even I will move differently in life should when issuing apologies in the future.
I feel like if you’re going to act like a bitch,
be a bitch, don’t act like one then pretend you’re not while apologizing.
Own your shit. Then at least your behaviour is respectable
because you vibrate authentic.
Full Circle Moments. No one will ever know just how much last night meant to me 🥵
I swear when i take myself out i have so much fun.
The night started like this…..
Can you see me ??? ✌️ I was hoping to mannifest experiencing Fly Paper live….but alas i did not….. Next Time Kevin plllleeease!… 🥵 🥵
A quick trip to MTL… blah blah blah…. This is how it ended….. next day 2pm- me litteraly peeling off last nights fit 🥵🥵🥵 ***Real talk- i love making last minute random things to wear -kinda my speciality- but mixing upcycle computer bits and fashion might be a thing for me…My peasant from the future look was so sick :P
The skirt that almost made it to the Juno’s
I don’t know what’s more dope. 'I made a skirt for an artist attending the Junos' or 'I made a skirt for an artist that was not permitted to be worn at the Juno’s.'
Apparently, the second choice is a life receipt I didn’t even know I wanted. 🥵 🥵 🥵
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Dope #Vanier life receipt
During the holiday season of 2023 I got to eat, dance and be a fly on the wall while a dope artist worked her magic. We laughed, we cried, we reminisced, we caught up on life and my favourite aspect, we created.
Mique holds a special place in my heart. She was the artist who created the first piece of local art I purchased for my home yeeeeaaaaaars ago. We were under a bridge at a House of Paint festival- I think.. Ever since that moment, my obsession with local art has only grown. If you know me you know.
I love that I could connect one of my favourite Vanier business with one of my favourite Vanier artist.
You should go
for breakfast or lunch
and check it out.
Its Vibes. IYKYK.
*Now if i get my way (which i usually do), Fontenelle will have a better playlist, a juice bar, a GrabnGo Menu and we WILL paint the outside wall :D
The inclusion of an M in Mique's design for MERRITT brought tears to my eyes 😭😭 Thats me Bitch!!